I can't lay on my back, it feels I have had the shit beaten out of me...you are probably wondering why I am feeling this way...and the culprit is the Korean massage I subjected myself to earlier today. I normally love going to the Jimjibang (the public bath house) , like I mentioned previously, but today I left very unhappy. Let's recap...shall we?
After visiting the saunas, pools, getting my body scrubbed...I decided to be adventurous and end my nice visit with a relaxing massage. However, in this massage there was not one minute of pleasure. First, the two ladies that worked there...laughed at me because I am a foreigner who does not know how to order a freaking massage. Next, I stripped and they laughed some more. There were two ladies that were going to massage me...normally that is a plus...but not in this case; it was double trouble. Next they put this smelly oil on my back and went to town. They applied the most shocking and painful amount of pressure for two little Korean women. I tried to tell them to stop or apply less pressure, on numerous occasions...but they did not listen and continued to laugh maliciously. I was on the verge of tears. They popped my fingers, sat on me, walked on me, jumped on me, whipped me with a towel, punched and slapped my back and stretched way to much. Maybe I had a lot of tension? This however...did not cure it whatsoever.
The most interesting thing, which ended up hurting the most, was this suction device contraption. She used what we call in Korea, "Bu Huang" which is basically cupping. In European history, leeches were placed on the skin and a cup was fitted on top of the leeches, creating suction. The leeches would then do what leeches do and suck out what was thought to be bad blood. In doing so, there are now bruises all over my back. In Korean culture, Bu Huang is used in traditional Korean medicine.
To tell me I was done, they basically slapped me until I got off of the massage table...a terrific way to tell someone goodbye. "See you next time," they said as I was walking out...that would be a negative. I definitely learned my lesson and will pass the advice forward. Today's lesson...if one comes to Korea, never get a massage...unless you would like to feel like you got your ass kicked, and look like it as well.
P.S. The pictures included are not of me, obviously...but are what the bruises look like, from the cupping...except mine are just everywhere...and not neat circles...I just have one giant bruise that covers my entire back...no joke. The other picture is just one of the lovely stretches I was forced to do.
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